I did feel ever so sorry for Prince William and Kate this this week as they attended their first Royal Engagement of the year.  They joined the Irish Guards St Patrick’s Day Parade at Mons Barracks in Aldershot, and what is it that makes the headlines?  Not their on-going commitment to the Armed Forces, but Regimental Sergeant Major Ray Collister asking if there are any more baby ‘Micks’ on the way.  Of course he really means Royal babies!  Now there’s a guy who sure knows how to make a headline!

 

I wonder how many times the Royal couple have been asked that question already?  I admire Prince William for batting the question away with a graceful but honest hand.  ‘One’s quite enough for the time being.’  I’m sure it is, after being so ill during pregnancy, and not matter how many hands you have on deck to help you, babies are still hard work, aren’t they?

 

Being asked constantly if your going to be starting a family, or once you’ve had one or even two babies, being asked if your straight onto the next one is something I’ve found increasingly frustrating over the last few years.

 

Starting a family, or not as the case maybe is such a personal thing.  Something that is between a couple, or just personal as people choose to make their family unit in different ways.  Why others feel it’s something they can ask, and that you might actually answer astounds me.

 

When I got married 3 years ago, I found more and more people asking me if I was going to have more children.  I already had a 13 year old at the time so I really hoped people would assume I’d done my bit for the human race.  Most of these people weren’t what I’d call friends and certainly not people who I’d share such personal information about my life with.

 

It dawned on me that these people weren’t well wishers, they had their own agenda in mind.  I spent months and months batting away similar questions to Wills and Kate with the same forced politeness, when really I wanted to scream ‘is it really any of your business?’

 

It seems to be who you are, the more you get asked.  For poor Wills and Kate, Royal baby speculation makes for a good story.  But why would they be sharing such intimate information with a journalist in the street or a Sergeant at a public engagement.  I wonder if he was put up to the question?

 

When I’m not writing this blog I’m a manager in a Not-For-Profit organisation, nowhere near the dizzy heights of Royalty.  However, if I was to be going on maternity leave, people new a progression opportunity would open up.  Suddenly there was a lot of interest in whether I was going to be making babies or not.  It would have been far more honest to ask me if there was likely to be a temporary position opening up, they might have been met with a more honest answer.

 

When I returned from maternity leave after Princess was born, I was met again with the same barrage of questions.  ‘Enough, already’ I thought.  It doesn’t stop when you’ve had just one, or in my case 2 just with a bit of a gap.  It turns out some people’s reasons for asking if was going to be out of the picture for a while were far more sinister than others.  Unfortunately I can’t share that here, which is such a shame as it would make a great post!

 

So poor William and Kate, I really empathise with the barrage of questions you’ll face over the coming years until another Heir is born.  I’ll be watching you avidly for tips on how to avoid these probing questions.  On another note, didn’t she look amazing though, all from the high street!  And she managed not to get her heel trapped in the drain, like last year.  Isn’t it interesting what makes a headline!  I clearly need to watch the tabloids more 😉

 

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22 COMMENTS

  1. Well said lovely! I’ve already lost count of the times people have asked me if three is enough… erm think I’ve got my hands full seeing as my baby is only a month old. I guess it’s just human nature, but it can be inappropriate sometimes…

  2. It is weird how many people feel they have a right to ask such a personal question isn’t it? And if you do admit you’d like a baby at some point, people get even more excited and ask ‘are you trying?’ and I hate that question even more because it is basically asking you ‘are you having a lot of sex?’ which lets face it, is noone’s business but your own! Plus what happens if you can’t have kids. I once asked some friends of mine if they thought they wanted kids at some point and their reaction was so hopeful and heartbreaking that it shamed me so much. I realised what a personal question I was asking and how much heartbreak lay behind their answer and I will never ask anyone again. Great post 🙂 #mmwbh

  3. Your work colleagues sound very sinister, for a non profit! I hope the questioning subsides!

    I guess my son is coming to the age now when people might be thinking whether we are ever having another one… Luckily no one has been brave enough to ask yet!!

    #MMWBH

  4. I didn’t really get asked much between my first two if there would be any more – I had always been very open about how many children I wanted. What I did get asked was if my second pregnancy was planned – which is equally as rude!
    x

  5. What a lovely way of writing about it. Completely understand and agree with where you are coming from. #mmwbh

  6. You’re so right!! It’s like an extension of the invasion of privacy that is people touching your bump when you’re pregnant. I don’t know why it’s the first thing people ask when they see you!!!!

  7. hahah It truly is a never ending battle. When you get into a relationship with someone it starts. When are you getting married? Then you get married, phew no more when are you getting married questions. Instantly hours after being married I was asked, when are you going to have a baby? What? I have only been married a few hours!!! Hours people! Let me be married for a moment at least. Then I had my son. Every visitor to come see my new baby, do you want another? Wow can I just enjoy this one for a while first please. It’s always the next stage and the next rush to what’s ahead. I had my son and daughter close together. Missy Moo’s now almost 9 months old and I am constantly are you going to have any more? If not, when are you going to get a job! Wow no one has any boundaries these days. It’s what’s next, what’s next, what about the here and now! I could write a whole post on this. But I loved reading yours instead. Thank you so much for linkin up to Share With Me. I love getting to know more about you and your blog. #sharewithme

  8. Oh gosh, I toally do sympathise, I really do!

    Why can’t foks mind their own business? I’ve been married for a couple of years now however I do not have any children purely out of choice. And the amount of times I’ve been asked “so when are you having kids?. URGH. SHUT UP! It does my head in, haha!

    x

  9. This made me slightly giggle inside… I find though depending on what number child your own, depends which questions get literally flung at you!… After my 1st baby a boy I was instantly asked “so you having anymore?”… when I had my 2nd son… I was asked “you gonna try for a girl next time?” or “your not gonna have anymore are you?” then when I had my 3rd which was a girl I got “yay you got your girl, so you can stop now!” or “3 is more than enough! I don’t think you’ll be having anymore!” :/ haha People are sooo funny 🙂 x

  10. Yes! Good point…it’s a VERY personal subject and yet so freely commented about in casual conversation, albeit jokingly at times…. are you going to have another child? when? etc… On the flip side of that, I had my two boys really close together 53 weeks to be exact, so people assume I’m DONE, that I was trying to “get it over with,” when in reality I’m not sure I’m done having children, right now I just want to be the best Mommy possible to the 2 I have!!!

    • It’s funny isn’t it how people make assumptions about these things. Society has such set norms still about it’s expectations so people feel these kind of questions are ok. Funny old world! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  11. This post made me smile. I have twins and it’s amazing the amount of strangers who ask personal questions about how that happened! #pocolo

  12. Great post, we currently have a 9 month old, and the questions about number have already started! It puts you in a really hard situation as I don’t want to lie to people or tell then to mind their own business!

  13. It is the worst question to ask someone really isn’t. I must look done in as people have spotted asking me now. Great post ~#poloco

  14. Well said!!
    I know people wish they had never asked me….I go into telling them I can’t have any more as there is a great risk of heart problems like my two girls….Then tell them about my girls….They’re sick of my voice when I finish….They should mind their own business!! hehehee

  15. I got pregnant few years ago and everyone is asking the same question to me as well =(

    This is a cycle actually. When I was single the constant question is YOU DONT HAVE A BOYFREIND YET????
    Then WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED????
    to when are you going to have babies??? And now when are you going to have baby no.2???? Baby No.1 is old enough.

    Its a bit tiring. That I have so many things going and yet these things that doesn’t really matter is the one that’s always being brought up =(

    I feel your pain.

    #pocolo

  16. Do you know what? I am SO with you on this. Another reason it is difficult is when you are trying and you have had a miscarriage and don’t want to tell anyone – you just want to scream at them! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

  17. I saw this myself, alongside the “is Kate pregnant again” assumptions. I mean come on, let them enjoy little George’s first year before harassing them to have another baby so soon. They are such a lovely couple, William is a real credit to his late Mother (as is Harry) and it must be so hard being in the public eye like they are. Great post Hun, thanks for linking up with the #madmidweekbloghop

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