The Breastfeeding Diaries: Dealing with Visitors

Little Tinkerbell is now 12 days old and everything seems to be going fairly well.  If her eyes are open, she generally wants to feed.  This is fine most of the time unless it’s between the hours of midnight and 3am, then Mummy feels a little frazzled.  I’m still experiencing a little discomfort when she latches, but nothing has cracked yet! Phew! Thanks Lanolin 🙂


The house is pretty peaceful most of the time, when Princess is at nursery anyway.  We have no expectations.  If we make it out of the house great, but if we’re in our pj’s all day, that’s fine too.  We’re just trying to be in the moment, and not worry too much about what needs to happen next, unless next is dinner time!  Mouths still need to be fed, but Daddy seems to have this under control.


Keeping the house fairly tranquil and quiet can be quite hard though when managing the visitors.  In the early days  everyone wants to visit, don’t they.  Of course they do, everyone wants to welcome a new baby into the world, but when your trying to get breastfeeding established, your recovering from labour and your all tired it can be a bit overwhelming.  It’s definitely worth spreading visitors out especially while your building your breastfeeding confidence up and sleep deprivation is getting the better of you.


I’ve got the issue of having fairly large breasts and quite a small baby.  Even for 8lb 5oz she is quite delicate.  All her weight is in her long legs. Just like her Dad.  I find I’m fiddling around a lot getting her in the nose to nipple position and getting myself comfortable while we are both practising.  I think breastfeeding discretion comes a bit later.  Some days it’s easier to be top naked for skin to skin and because a newborn baby can feed pretty regularly.  Sometimes she only lasts about 5 minutes between feeds.  In the evening it can feel like she is feeding all night.


The Breastfeeding Diaries


Now, I’m not usually bothered about feeding in public or in front of guests, but I seem to have a complete aversion to feeding in front of the grandparents.  Obviously they want to visit their new granddaughter, and so they should.  But I know that I’m going to spend most of the time feeding little Tinkerbell in the bedroom, and that is exactly what happened.  I’m not entirely sure that they would be entirely comfortable with me feeding in front of them, but it’s not something we have ever really discussed.  I wonder if they think I only feed her in the house in a locked room.  I remember with Princess they seemed surprised I fed her in front of her teenage brother.


I find with some people if the sense you feel a little awkward and baby needs feeding, they will say something to put you at ease even if it’s ‘go ahead, I don’t mind’.  This can be really helpful for a breastfeeding Mum and can put the whole situation at ease.  I think it’s great if you can have a ‘I’m going to feed my baby no matter what’ attitude, but some of us Mums are a little more self conscious for a whole host of different reasons.


This awkwardness could become a bit of a problem, as we have a toddler too we like to make sure when they visit we go somewhere for Princess to burn of a bit of steam.  I’m not sure what they’d think if I flopped my boob out, however discreetly I did it!  I’m not entirely sure I want to find out.  Awkward springs to mind, at the very least.


I’m really not sure how to tackle this.  I’m not great at expressing so I don’t think that’s going to be the answer for me.  I could just be making mountains out of mole hills and I just need to get that first feed out of the way, sooner rather than later.  Is there anyone you find it difficult to feed in front of?  Were you able to get to a point you felt comfortable? How did you manage it.  Do you have any tips?


The Breastfeeding Diaries Linky starts next week! Click here to find out more!


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  1. June 10, 2014 / 7:08 pm

    Congratulations again on your little one. Your feelings are the same as mine were with breastfeeding. It was infront of my brother-in-law and mother and father-in-law that I felt awkward. For a little while I would go to another room or upstairs and feed there. But after a few weeks or so, I got more confident and felt less clumsy so latching on was quicker, had a muslin over me and baby and away we went. Had a couple of nursing tops and so they were good too. Sometimes found the in-laws were talking to me, would get up to sit by me, as hadn’t realised I was feeding! Hope it keeps going well for you x
    Debs recently posted…Losing My Winter CoatMy Profile

  2. June 11, 2014 / 11:47 am

    Yes I can definitely relate – I have to say I never fed in front of the in laws, I just didn’t feel comfortable. It’s tricky isn’t it? And I also agree about the visitors just after you’ve given birth – everyone should have a couple of weeks to recover I think!
    Globalmouse recently posted…Wagamama Summer Menu – 2014My Profile

  3. June 11, 2014 / 12:10 pm

    I had a really fast let down, and culled with the reflux all mine had it was quite tough at first. I discovered which has some really helpful info – I used to let the first flood soak into a muslin or a cup so baby could feed without choking.
    Kate Thompson recently posted…A Marathon not a SprintMy Profile

  4. June 11, 2014 / 12:36 pm

    Really sorry I have no suggestions as I didn’t breast feed mine.

    I am sure a big part of doing it successfully is feeling comfortable about it
    Jen aka The Mad House recently posted…Dad Rocks PaperweightMy Profile

  5. June 11, 2014 / 2:41 pm

    Congratulations on your new addition! I was unable to breast feed so can offer no advise other than do what you are comfortable with x
    Louisa recently posted…Potty training a reluctant toddlerMy Profile

  6. June 11, 2014 / 3:36 pm

    Firstly congrats, sounds like you are doing great. I think you just need to go ahead and do it. they will probably turn away anyway and you could then just put a muslin over your shoulder so your not exposing everything. At the end of the day you need to feed and they want to come round so somethings got to give. Good luck and hope you continue to enjoy this wonderful time. x
    p.s Do they read your blog? if not maybe send them a link?
    Style Me Sunday recently posted…My holiday review – Four Seasons Sharm El SheikhMy Profile

  7. June 11, 2014 / 5:24 pm

    Congratulations! Yep I remember that feeling, I used to get my husband to tell them could only stay for a little bit.It was always the in laws and male friends I found hard to b/f around.

    I used a v pillow to give me a bit of shelter and a muslin to shield the view while I latched. x
    Mummy to boyz recently posted…Support the Small’sMy Profile

  8. June 11, 2014 / 5:36 pm

    I never fed in front of the grandparents, just wasn’t comfortable, so I would leave them with the older kids and go and have some me time with the baby (and often a sleep)
    Jane @ northernmum recently posted…It is only a prick….My Profile

  9. June 11, 2014 / 6:07 pm

    Congratulations, I hope you aren’t too tired. I can’t offer advice as I didn’t want to breastfeed so baby is bottle fed and was from the start x
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…The Liebster AwardMy Profile

  10. June 11, 2014 / 7:16 pm

    Many congratualtions on your new bundle of joy. You should do what ever makes you comfortable. May be in the presence of family you could drape a very soft cotton scarf over your shoulder whilst baby is feeding. I used to do that a lot .
    Nayna Kanabar (@SIMPLYF00D) recently posted…Strawberry Yogurt Pops.My Profile

  11. June 11, 2014 / 9:21 pm

    Glad all seems to be going well, it’s hard work with lots of visitors especially when you’re feeling tired. POD was a snacker so she always seemed to be feeding. Remember feeling super awkward in front of the grandparents but gave in in the end, was always a bit weird though x

  12. June 12, 2014 / 8:01 am

    congratulations and weldone on trying to breastfeed, i tried my best with all mine but never had much luck with baby to breast so in th end i ended up expressing , easier for me and for the baby, x

  13. June 12, 2014 / 1:45 pm

    I always felt a bit awkward in front of the inlaws but if my baby needed feeding I just got on with it
    With all the fabulous discreet nursing tops and scarves these days it is so much easier to feed without people noticing
    Kara recently posted…Win a Fluming good time at SplashdownMy Profile

  14. June 12, 2014 / 2:02 pm

    Every time I fed in front of my Mum she closed all of the blinds. She had a sitting room, diner and kitchen all in one, so that was three sets of blinds. I was devastated that she was so prudish about it, and given that I had low milk supply it wasn’t ideal. I have no idea why she was like this. Whenever she visited us in the UK (that was in Ireland) I would go to my bedroom to feed 🙁
    I hope you get to the stage where you are comfortable to do it in public honey once it’s more established for you both.
    Liska xx
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  15. June 12, 2014 / 7:01 pm

    congrats! I remember feeling really awkward at first and terrified the first few times bf in public. We are still going now though at two and a half (although it is not just once a day in the morning) xx
    Fritha Strickland recently posted…An Amelie TourMy Profile

  16. June 12, 2014 / 9:21 pm

    Congratulations on your little one and on breastfeeding. I never managed it so don’t have any advice but I’m sure once the first one is out of the way you’ll feel much better xx
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  17. June 13, 2014 / 1:13 pm

    I was lucky in that I didn’t have any qualms about breastfeeding generally. Having said that, I did find it very odd doing it in front of my inlaws too. I was comfortable doing in restaurants, parks and even at the showjumping at the Olympic Games, but not so in my own house when D’s parents were there too! I’m sure you’ll find away to do it that makes your comfortable. I often carried a light cotton sheet or a large muslin with me, just in case.
    Thanks for linking up with #BinkyLinky
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  18. June 13, 2014 / 3:49 pm

    I don’t have any tips really because I always expressed to get round it, but I do know how you feel because I’m the same with not just my in-laws but my own family. I don’t fancy the idea of feeding in front of my dad! Hope you find something that works for you. Oh, and congratulations!
    Mummy’s Blog recently posted…10 practical things to do before your baby arrivesMy Profile

  19. June 13, 2014 / 5:06 pm

    tough one, i will have to think about it in a weeks time, but im sure i will do it in a room alone if we have guests as i will be more uncomfortable than them as its first baby
    Victoria Mylittlel recently posted…Baby entertainment wish listMy Profile

  20. June 13, 2014 / 8:07 pm

    This post has got me thinking about how I would feel in the same situation. I only have my mother-in-law to worry about, but we get on well so it wouldn’t have been a problem, but I’m not sure how I would feel about about in front of a granddad, although breastfeeding in public would never have been an issue to me. Congratulations on your new arrival. Thanks for linking up to the #binkylinky
    Emily recently posted…Binky LinkyMy Profile

  21. June 13, 2014 / 10:31 pm

    I always found wearing a vest under my top worked well, you can pull one up and one down when feeding and manage to stay fairly covered. I’m probably very thick skinned but I just feed where I am, especially in my own home, if they don’t like it that’s their problem. Baby needs to feed and that’s no 1 priority. I hope you feel comfortable to feed with visitors there soon and if the discomfort doesn’t reduce find your local Baby Cafe or equivalent for some support / advice 🙂 #BinkyLinky

  22. June 14, 2014 / 7:07 am

    I rememberr breastfeeding my son in the ER of the hospital. I flonked out my boobs anbd theres this kid there who saw my breast. I saw horror in his face. He is probably 9 or 10. I apologized and hid. I really do have scarf to always cover me when I breastfeed but you know how when theres an emergency and you just dont think properly. #pocolo
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  23. June 14, 2014 / 7:50 am

    It’s an interesting one. I was always pretty self conscious when Tyler was born and on a few occasions in front of some people I’d go into another room. As he got older and I realised that 1 this was normalising nothing and 2 it’s my choice I stopped. I found forcing myself made me more comfortable and confident and I just looked down at thin with the attitude ‘if I can’t see, they can’t’ I’m sure people did but it helped me. My mil thinks breastfeeding is disgusting (charming eh!) and I know her family have been brought up with similar views and she thinks a mother should go into another room but next time around she’ll be lucky if I do that! Sounds like you’re doing fab! Whatever’s comfortable for you is right 🙂 #binkylinky
    Becky recently posted…OOTD red tea dressMy Profile

  24. June 14, 2014 / 9:27 pm

    Congratulations again Zena, I felt the same as you, I never fed infront of my in-laws, Dad or my husbands friends as I wasn’t comfortable. In initially I want upstairs to feed if people were around but after we’d got the hang of it I didn’t unless it was the people above. I did feed in public but had nursing tops and was discrete. I have big boobs too and found it tough at first, I was very self concious but the confidence grew. I hope it continues to go well for you x #binkylinky
    Loving life with little ones recently posted…DaddyMy Profile

  25. Lilac10
    July 1, 2014 / 9:22 am

    At the beginning when I was still getting used to breastfeeding (it took me 3 months with both), I didn’t like breastfeeding in front of anyone. But once I had got used to it, I found it ok to feed in front of my mother in law. However, I still couldn’t and never contemplate feeding in front of my father in law or brother in law or in fact any men in the house except the husband.

  26. August 6, 2014 / 1:31 pm

    It’s so true that everyone wants to visit in the first few days, which is the hardest considering you’re adjusting, trying to find a groove and of course, the sleepiness. I still don’t “like” breastfeeding out in public or in front of people; I just can’t shake that “this is weird” feeling. A lot of times, especially now with my second, I do it anyway or find a simple solution because I’ve found ways to be discreet and he breastfeeds fairly easy. I think the biggest problem is it sometimes makes others uncomfortable, which in turn makes me uncomfortable, which just makes the whole situation awkward.
    Tessa recently posted…100 Days of Healthy: Day 8My Profile

  27. September 26, 2014 / 3:01 am

    I felt a bit shy where I breastfed as well…but you sort of get over it when you have a hungry and screaming newborn in tow. I would usually go somewhere private – in front of my mother or mother-in-law didn’t really bother me all that much. Besides, with all of the great nursing covers and tops available now, you can be discreet without having all of your goods hanging out. My advice is to do what is most comfortable for you and your child. The more tense you both are, the less successful breastfeeding will be. I found that once my kids got to a certain age, I had to feed them in a quiet room, otherwise they would get too distracted and not want to eat.
    Ana Antunovic recently posted…September favouritesMy Profile

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